We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
