I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
