you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
