hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
