Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
home. puking in laundry basket.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
