Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
