just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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