my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
