Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize