Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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