He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There's always time for handjobs
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
