she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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