my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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