I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
