i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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