I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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