508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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