If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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