just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize