Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
