i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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