no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
