I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
