dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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