JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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