mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
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