Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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