He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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