so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
no you cant smoke seaweed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
