tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
