In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
