Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
