This girl is more easily done than said...
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
