Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
