theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
