If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
