he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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