How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
