My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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