She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
