Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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