ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
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No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
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I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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