if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
