There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize