are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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