i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize