Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
