I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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