His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
