I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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