its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
