I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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