My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
