so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
