when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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