We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
