I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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