so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
