I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
