everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Are we still banned from the library?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
