Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
