I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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