I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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