Cold hands, warm shart.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
