i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
