Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
