i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
