cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
