My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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